Big Government says the Cheese stands alone, but not on a Wood Shelf

No whey. This story really takes the cheese. It makes me — uh, err — curdle.

It seems that in another bid to implant itself as chief nanny and big bossy-britches, our Food and Drug Administration is further regulating tampering with artisanal methods of cheese production — which, I might add, have been tried and tested over the centuries and present no credible basis for risk to public health — to require that cheese makers discontinue the use of wooden boards for aging cheese.

The making of fine artisanal cheese is a delicate process that involves cooperation with living organisms. FDA regulations, on the other hand, are written like lab manuals for the manufacture of polymers. It seems that the FDA dislikes natural or traditional processes. Soon, only “cheese” (“natural cheese product”) that is aerosolized and canned (or rendered into block form, a la Velveeta) will be permitted to carry the label “artisanal”.

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